Tool

I've come to the conclusion that I am unhappy with myself on a major level. However, I don't know why. I can't remember the last time I have been truly happy. Ugh.

The other day, I had an interesting encounter with the girl who is interested in me (I suppose she needs a name if I keep referring to her - Jill from now on). We've been flirting pretty heavily throughout the semester, and I made some comment a few days ago about her flashing me. She didn't, so I thought nothing of it. However she mentioned it to her roommate, and how I had said that I was pretty sure that she wouldn't do it. She then told me to come to her room, and proceeded to flash me. That was cool (a nice start to the day). Later that day, I offered her a massage, and she came up to my room. I gave her a back rub, and then grabbed some lotion and gave her a shoulder massage. This lead to her taking her shirt off and getting a full back massage (there was some boob fondling in the middle as well). However, this has put me in a bit of a predicament, seeing as how I don't really want a relationship with her, and I'm pretty sure that's what she is looking for. I feel like a moron for how I handled things. I really have to have talk with her about where we stand. I honestly wouldn't mind hooking up with her, but I don't know how she would feel about that. Ugh. This is just adding to my whole feeling worthless thing.

God, I am pathetic.


~^~