Walking on rugs

During a converstation with my sister the other day, she told me not to be a rug in life. In typical fashion, I replied that I prefered to munch them than be them, but that statement got me thinking. I do kind of get walked all over in life. I mean, I'm the designated driver, always (beingthat I don't drink or smoke), I'm the one that people look to for help with problems, and I'm only slightly appreciated. Maybe it's just my viewpoint. Maybe I depreciate myself. Whatever. Maybe I'm overreacting. I guess that part of it is that I feel if I don't make myself useful, my friends will just gloss over me. I don't really put myself out there. Maybe I'm just insecure, or unjustifiably worried, but still. I like my friends, and I want to hang out with them. However, my recreational interests aren't all the same. I love being part of the "good times" even if I'm not participating.


So I hit level 50 in Forza Motorsport yesterday. I was both joyously excited, and totally depressed with myself. I mean, I have probably sunk 100 hours or more of my life into that game. I have that profile (lvl50, no more levels available, still have cars to unlock), another profile that's lvl 38 or so, and I deleted my other profile at about lvl 35. I have no life. Fuck.


~^~