"You're such a nice guy"
Every time I hear that directed at me, I laugh. I consider myself to be a prick. Or at the very least, a sarcastic bastard. Yet so many people tell me I'm a nice guy. Why? I was thinking about it the other day and realized that most of what I say is at least slightly nice, while most of what I think is totally asshole-ish. So what is presented to people is nice.
Recently I've been getting flashes of feeling really disconnected from the world. I dunno how to describe it, but it feels like I'm just floating through life. I have no idea why. I've also been feeling really down overall. Maybe it's because I'm not doing much besides schoolwork. No music, no sports. No sex. No nothing. It sucks. I feel fat and lazy, despite the fact I semi regularly do pushups and sit ups until my stomach hurts and I can't really use my arms. I feel guilty about not doing the cross country piece, but it really doesn't make sense. Maybe I'm just justifying in a way that makes me feel like I shouldn't do it. Ugh. I hate myself sometimes.
One thing I would like to point out, in a semi repitious manner, is that every time I have a good idea to write here, I get interupted. Maybe it's because I don't like people watching me write this, maybe it's fate. All I know is that I have a brilliant idea (or even a semi-glowing idea), and am like "I should write that in my blog!" and then I get interupted and forget about it. For example, it has taken me three days to put this post together. Ugh. That annoys me.
And now I've forgotten whatever else I was going to post. Whatever.
~^~
Recently I've been getting flashes of feeling really disconnected from the world. I dunno how to describe it, but it feels like I'm just floating through life. I have no idea why. I've also been feeling really down overall. Maybe it's because I'm not doing much besides schoolwork. No music, no sports. No sex. No nothing. It sucks. I feel fat and lazy, despite the fact I semi regularly do pushups and sit ups until my stomach hurts and I can't really use my arms. I feel guilty about not doing the cross country piece, but it really doesn't make sense. Maybe I'm just justifying in a way that makes me feel like I shouldn't do it. Ugh. I hate myself sometimes.
One thing I would like to point out, in a semi repitious manner, is that every time I have a good idea to write here, I get interupted. Maybe it's because I don't like people watching me write this, maybe it's fate. All I know is that I have a brilliant idea (or even a semi-glowing idea), and am like "I should write that in my blog!" and then I get interupted and forget about it. For example, it has taken me three days to put this post together. Ugh. That annoys me.
And now I've forgotten whatever else I was going to post. Whatever.
~^~
posted by The Wookie | 8:50 AM
1 Comments:
Ha ha that made me chuckle! I can tell by the way you write that you are a decent enough guy. If people tell you that, then believe them, because they can see things that you can't.
It is a relief that someone else feels the same way I do at the moment. I just don't get it really, I try so hard in life and it still feels as if there is something missing - I just feel like I am living in this big dream, and yeah that time is passing me by. What is even scarier is that I am turning 25 in a few months and I really don't want to!
I just wish I could stop time. Don't you just wish that you could control things like that in life sometimes? Maybe that is the problem though, we hate getting older because we can't control it and as humans, we want to always be in control (ok slightly of the point there) but it relates to what you were saying about drifting and feeling lazy etc.
I think we all feel like that at times, it prob just means that you have a lot of challenges ahead of you, so don't worry, I'm sure you not lazy at all!
I also know what you mean about the blogging thing - I always think of something to write about and then forget what it was or it just passes in my head... soooo frustrating!
Bloody hell I have rabbited! Sorry I’m sure you didn't want to read all that :)
Post a Comment
<< Home