Why?

So I'm still sick, sleeping didn't seem to help any, and I skipped my second lab of the day, yet again. This lab is theoretically non graded, thus I haven't been in like three or four weeks. However, I'm worried that I've missed something vital in the class during the labs that I've missed. I also feel guilty about missing them. Why do I do this to myself? What is the point? I don't understand. Instead of class, which I have paid for, I am sitting here at work, listening to music from "Drumline" (good stuff!), and typing away in a blog that no one reads. I don't understand myself.

~^~