Grrr!

Right now I'm simultaneously pissed off at the world and really depressed. I'm not sure how that works, but it sucks. I think that some of the feeling comes from my interest in the girl I talked about in earlier posts. I have no idea what her feelings towards me are, and it's driving me crazy! I just want it to be clear - is that too much to ask? Whatever. On the subject of girls, I suddenly seem to have a lot of them after me (except the one that I want to be after me!!). It's slightly unnerving. In high school, no one, and I mean no one, expressed interest in me. It was all the "Oh you're a wonderful guy, but I'm not intersted in you like that." So to have three different girls asking for my attention at once is a little wierd for me. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but like I said in my previous post, I don't really like having attention focused on me. One of the girls has a fiance and they just recently went through a really rough time. Afterwards she said she had a wierd/comforting thought. She thought that it would be really comforting if I would have held her as she fell asleep, basically acting as a live teddy bear. I really like her, and if she were single, I wouldn't mind hooking up with her. However, she is engaged. Small problem. We'll see what happens with that.

So I went to programming lab this morning and no one was there. No one. That made me think I missed something in class about lab being held someplace else. I know we have a test on Wed and Thurs (two part test), but what about today? Hmm. I then realized I forgot my book, and decided that I should just go back to my room and do the lab there on my laptop. Ugh. So that's what I'm theoretically doing now.

Well writing this has helped me calm down a little. I'm really not sure why I even have this. I've never kept a journal before, and no one is likely to read this. What is the point? Whatever. Time to do schoolwork.

~^~