I hate life.

Mine particularly. Maybe not my life, so much as myself. I have absolutely no motivation in life. About anything. The end of the semester is next week, I have shitloads of work to do, and this weekend, when I had time to do it, what did I do? Hung out with some friends, saw the new James Bond movie (which I really enjoyed), and did absolutely nothing.

Here's the workload I had at the beginning of the weekend -
2 5 page papers for Austro German culture (duedate - unsure)
1 5 min presentation for Museum Studies (duedate - Friday)
1 5-10 page paper for Museum Studies about the subject of the presentation (due on exam day)
1 quiz for Game Design - a mini game (due a long while back, but making it up)
1 final project for Game Design - an actual game, which has not been started (duedate - not sure, before exam, I think)
5 math exams and quizzes to make up (due date, before exam)

And the workload after the weekend? Exactly the same. I finished texture mapping a model for the game design quiz, and did a bit of research for the Austro German papers, but that's it. Now, and I hesitate to say this because it's really just an excuse, but if there hadn't been people in the room the entire weekend, I think I might have gotten more done. Probably not though. The people in the room were some of my roommates friends, one of whom went to our school first semester our freshman year. He failed out (parental choice), and went to school closer to home. He now is working, and saving up money to come to the state school in the same town as my school. However, he is a major druggie, as were the two friends he brought with him. I don't mind that aspect that much, because he's a pretty nice guy. However, one of his friends defines the stereotypical fratboy - wasted 24/7 with nothing resembling anything productive to say, and has no social tact. The entire weekend I wanted to just break his neck. The other guy was actually ok, and could hold a conversation.

So they showed up Friday night, at like midnight. That was a bit excessive. However, there was stuff going on in our room, and it was pretty fun. However, it went on a bit much. There was an average of like 9 people in our room with the max being 14. That was a little nervewracking. I went to bed around 3 or so. Sometime around 4, they started to get really loud, and I ended up asking those who weren't crashing in the room to head out. I felt like kind of a bastard, but come on. It was 4 in the morning. That's past bed time.

Saturday, I went to see the Bond movie (after getting up around 10, for no good reason). I did get some work done before that. After the Bond movie, I went and hung out with some friends at one of their rooms. At this point, the druggies (as they will be referred to from here on out) had gone to a party at one of the frats. I locked my room when I left to go visit the friends. We watched a terrible movie (Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Killer Mutant Snowman - no joke, that's the title). It was a fun time overall. When I came back to my room (at 3 am), the lock had been picked, and the druggies were sitting there watching classic cartoons that they had picked up at Wal-mart. That was a little unnerving. I went to bed and they were still watching it.

Sunday, I got up (around noon), went to lunch, came back at like 1, and they were still watching cartoons. They left around 5 or so, after watch cartoons the entire day. It was impressive. At least once they left, they left the room in pretty decent shape.

While I was writing this, I was also talking to one of my sister's close friends, who goes to school on the opposite side of the country as me. We were talking about how last night, and how my sister told her to sleep with me, but not really. Then, she was like "ok, so the reason I took it that way, is because I was asking your sister for advice on how to ask you out." I was a little bit stunned by that, and was like "Well, . . . not sure how to respond to that." We then talked a bit, and agreed to go to a movie together, and see how things went. My only problem is that I like her much more as a friend than as a significant other. Dammit. Why does this happen to me? I'm still trying to figure out how to explain this same problem to another of my female friends, who happens to live across the hall from me. I hate commitment, and I know I'm not nearly nice enough to be a good boyfriend at the current moment, and that makes me very uneasy about entering a relationship with someone who I know, and actually enjoy being friends with.

I want things to be easier.

~^~